Flesh - X Nightmarish Fiction

I can not believe it.  She does not love me anymore. She pities me in fact ! This when she used to proclaim that love is bigger than attraction and sex ...

Maybe it was my own fault. I, who did not believe love was bigger than pleasure. We used to fight about this. Of course there was my greed for pleasure which was many times exhausting for her. But it was only to control this greed that I underwent the procedure. I reduced my own self for her. I thought that was love.

Now she does not find fulfilling this my reduced self. From the pity in her eyes I know she will leave me. I can not blame her really. I am just angry.

After this silly tragedy, I can not believe anymore, except in anger that gives some shape to my feelings.



----- 17th May, 14, Mumbai, TIFR
(Aug-Sep 13)

Road-side observation in South Bombay

Q)
Eat we must
even by the road-side.
But why must we shift dust
by few metres
as a chore ....

A)
The appearance of order
gives a feel of control 
giving patently useless chores
more utility than visions ....


P)
He seemed oblivious to the springs
stretching from the broom to the dust motes
and back,
like a busy puppeteer being pulled by the puppets
in a world that does not know
what it wants.