ମା ଗୋ

ମା ଗୋ, ତୁମ଼କୁ ଆଜି ମତେ ଧକ଼ କିନା ମନେ ପଡ଼ିଗଲା

କେନ୍ତା ଗୋ, ମୁଇ ତ ବଡ଼ ପିଲା ହେଇ ଗଲି ନ ପରେ

ଫେର କେନ୍ତା ଗା ଗୁଟେ ସେକେଣ୍ଡ ଲାଗି କାନ୍ଦ଼-କାନ୍ଦ଼ 

                                ହେଇ ଗଲା ଛାତି ମୋର

କେନ୍ କୁନ୍ ଭିତରୁ ଆଇସି ମନକେ ଲୁହ, କହ ତ ?

ସାନ୍ ବେଲେ ତୁମେ କହୁଥୁଲ କହେବାକେ,

                               "ଭଗବାନ୍ ର‍ଖ୍ୟା କର"

ବଡ଼ ହେଲେ ଜନା ପଡ଼ଲା 

                       ନିଜ଼କୁ ଛାଡ଼ି କରି ରଖ୍ୟା କରସି

                                              ଖାଲି ଜନମ଼ଦାତା

ବଡ଼ ହେଲେ ଘରୁ ଛାଡ଼ଲେ ଜଦି ରଖ୍ୟା ପାଏଲା
                                              ତେବେ ଲୁକ ମୁକ୍ତି ପାଇ ଜିବା

ବଡ଼ ହେଲେ ଛୁଆ ନାଇ ମରେ, ଭୁଲ଼ସି ଖାଲି

                      କେତେ ଆରାମ଼ କରୁଥିଲା ମା'ର ପାଖେ

-----------------------------------

Summer '11, Ithaca

Some diacritical marks (ହଳନ୍ତ ଚିହ୍ନ) did not come out right.

Tripping on the Uniqueness of a Moment H

So ....
Imagine three guys,
Brazillian, Indian and Spanish,
-- like in those jokes that always end silly --
Drunk at four on a winter night
in a southern city of France ...

Imagine
The Spanish guy saying very feelingly,
I don't comprehend the French
while freezing below 0 degrees,
their bums on cycles (and a clear layer of new snow),
that us Toulousains fondly call Velouse ..

Imagine if it humours you, one of them tripping on the uniqueness
of the moment, of its coming about ... and then one of them shouting yippee
for no reason and the other two laughing because ...
laughter doesn't charge you ...

Imagine earlier in the evening ..
they drank with a Colombian, plusieurs French,
and shared bonheur because it is meant to be shared ...

Imagine ...
one of them kept riding on in the middle of winter
finding the invisible summer inside invincible for a little while,

how it was under the wavy carpet of soft white lights sur Rue Alsace-Lorraine,
when les lumières de Noël formed a fantasy for the briefest moment
just enough to be transposed between
ecstasy and the reality

(even when un étranger places himself
mostly as an outsider to comprehend himself)

and then
when the guy gets home ..
the outside is forgotten as easily as "the fish forgets the hook if it escapes" ...
and delves in to the zone of comfort, and life and lies, and truths that are there
when one is (free) with oneself ...




I found then
It is awesome to be in love
when one feels consumed by the moment ...

however removed one may feel ...
one is part of everything,
and therefore
one just has to talk ..
and not be oneself
for a little while
while all goes round-a-round  ...


-------------------------------------------------------------------


12/1/12 Toulouse

Imagine ...

one of them kept riding right on while the other two were

peut être in the comfort of a home that is unique to us modern lucky brothers and sisters ..

that can make for something unique just by being absent,

what when present is taken for granted by most of us; we are lucky ...

To Kurt Godel and St. Anselm

 St. Anselm's ontological argument, in its most succinct form, is as follows: "God, by definition, is that for which no greater can be conceived. God exists in the understanding. If God exists in the understanding, we could imagine Him to be greater by existing in reality. Therefore, God must exist." - Wikipedia

This and Godel's argument on existence of God rest crucially on our imagining of God .

The argument that follows rests also on our imagining of God.

It goes as : We imagine God to be qualitatively greater than us so as to be defined as a category different than human; otherwise God would just be a better human in which case we need no new category definitions. Humans can imagine or comprehend infinity but can be safely assumed to be finite*.  Thus, God can be qualitatively greater than us if he is infinite. Moreover, if God were finite but still qualitatively greater than us in some other way, then God is not God according to St. Anselm's definition. This contradiction arises precisely because we can conceive infinity (which is greater than finite) if we allow for the fact that conception has both connotations : 1) imagination plus comprehension, 2) creation**. Even better, if God is finite, then even before we conceive infinity to show God down, I believe we can conceive a different finite object that would be greater than God by any definition of  "greater" and, more precisely, by the same definition by which God were to be finite. E.g. conceive two such finite Gods or a cake bigger than God. Since only infinity is not greater than two infinities, it seems God needs to be infinite. By the way, this also implies that God needs to be uncountably infinite since if God were countably infinite, we can already conceive objects that are uncountably infinite.

Our present theories and assumptions of physical reality abhor infinity, especially uncountable infinities. Examples : We believe there can not be infinite densities of matter or energy which in my opinion would be an uncountable infinity from a physical point of view. In other words, it is unimaginable how can a possible physical reality correspond to infinite density of matter or energy. The size of the universe can be infinite in principle. More precisely, extensive properties of systems can be infinite given that the universe is infinite. But, we would prefer to have the intensive properties as finite so that we can comprehend physical reality***. We believe physical reality is fundamentally countably discrete, i.e. at the highest energy-shortest length scales, things are discrete precisely to avoid infinite matter-energy densities. This countable discreetness implies that extensive properties can be countably infinite. The degrees of freedom of physical reality at a fundamental level are assumed to be countably infinite similar to the modes on a ideal violin string, but how they exist must be finite in a fundamental way because otherwise we could conceivably arrange them to have infinite densities which should not be possible if our theory can only make sense of finite densities****, unless there are good reasons for the impossibility of such arrangements. Thus, I would conclude that existence of God can not correspond to physical reality unless one can demonstrate a consistent and comprehensible theory of physical reality that allows for intensive variables to assume infinite values. God would be such an intensive property of our physical reality then.






* Remember, we do not consider "imagination or comprehension of infinity" as equal to "infinity". The status of their relation is unclear to me.

** Poetically speaking, imagination too is an act of creation. I am not going to go much down this road since this opens up all kinds of Pandora boxes as to the relation of thoughts and imaginations to physical reality. For our purposes, we assume that when we imagine something, we do not make it thereby to come in to physical existence. As far as physical reality is concerned, when we imagine we - presumably - only make our brain cells change their states. A very sensible assumption in my opinion.

*** This might connect to the logical consistency of physical reality.

**** Can we construct a consistent theory which allows the intensive variable to assume infinite values ?
One example of things going bad is we do not allow dirac-delta functions as legitimate quantum states since they are not squared-normalizable. This is another way of avoiding an infinite density, i.e. we do not want to arrange things so that a system is a dirac-delta function in reality.

Sermon + Funnies

How could I tell you the difference between intelligence and depth ? Well, there is the intelligent way of thinking and there is the deep way of thinking. I am not intelligent enough to tell you the difference, but feel deep enough to appreciate it. But who knows ? As paradox would have it, this shallow tell might just be telling the difference intelligently !






consistency of the above :

1) i claim i am not intelligent
2) i claim i feel deep

3) therefore i can be surer if something is deep or shallow, but not if something is intelligent or not

4) also i am trying to tell the difference
5) but i state i can not tell it, since i am not intelligent.

6) therefore i can only be sure if the telling is shallow or not
7) i conclude it is shallow (which it is !)

8) but i attach a might to whether this tell tells the difference in an intelligent manner or not.

Celebrating Certainty

v1

In the empty parking lot that night,
Dear friends stealing a smoke from their wives
bickering politics with the gusto of lions,
I see their base of contentedness
based on certainty they earned;
I could contribute no words then,
just a continuous grin.



------------------------------------


v2

In the empty parking lot that night,
Dear friends stealing a smoke from their wives
bickering politics with the gusto of lions,
I see their base of contentedness
based on certainty they earned;
I contributed no words then,
just a continuous grin



--------------------

15th sept '12
Hartford to NYC Amtrack

Vulnerable

What do you call when
                                   a man breaks tears to share with himself
While free-falling without freedom
        into the crack of humanity
              that rises up to the sky

Through the dirt and men all around me
     I see clever men up there
                                   shifting dirt to cover the cracks
to strengthen the issue of survival.






--------------------------------------------------------


(April/May/June) Summer '12 Toulouse

तुझ बिन जीना भी क्या जीना ?

Voice of so many ages cried
what is living when life is
without you,
my love.

The pain that was the question
carried me beyond poetry
to the answer.

Living without you
is impossible
even if is chosen
this beautiful life,
even if is chosen
happy tears, sad smile.

My love,
living without you
is unbearably impossible,
that living with you
And your absences is inevitably
Inevitable.



--------------------------------------------------


.
Toulouse
June/July '12

For whom there is no time.

What the young unknowing one
                                                        did enter for an eye skip,

Was silent beholden by the one
                                                    now an older bag of contradictions,

When that woman sang glorious,
                                                       For whom there was no time.

In praise of the Ikea Bed

The Ikea bed's step-by-sure-step make
Made certainty for this one in its wake.
The forming Ikea bed imparted its strength.

Strength of structure may become
Strength of mind, and the mind
May recognize its own strengthening.

The unlearning learned in a quarter life
as a lesson in comfortable luck,
This one saw starkly its wobbly legs.
As the Ikea bed organized its body and legs,
The wobbly legs too felt stronger than they were
Like a child's legs; leapt in delight.

May that feeling be the beginning of certainty
in any context.




-----------------------------------


22/2/12 Toulouse

Vulnerable

When you look at buildings from afar, you might on some day wonder whether they are for real or few cardboard cut-outs put there to trick you. But with yourself and life, there is no looking from afar. The brave choice is to have the most intimate look. Still, on some days you'll feel like a cardboard cut-out. If not worse.


------------------------------------------------

PS : written in Jan '11.

The Trophy of Pity

Like any other day
the robust sturdy booth-phone
could not conceive kind from cruel,
stayed silent to the old lady's requests.
That day he picked a cell phone from
the tender trophy of pity,
Gave it to the old lady. In return,
She picked a dollar from
the generous depths of kindness,
offered it to him.

On another day, when lucky he got
free treasures of smiles and ebullience
to top a worried load of confused queries
that lost tourists carry along with water bottles,
He foolishly gave back help muddled with
the wrong form of pity.

Pity for the free man somewhere
must be a celebration.
The trophy of pity,
he makes heavy on his silly days.
He is striving to feel worthy,
join the free men.

On such silly days his shackles invent muddle
giving humble pity (accepting simple inadequacy).
Cling to bizarre strengths that are not there.
He imagines the free man keeps it uncomplicated,
and through this straight path of dignity,
to simple free caring pays homage.

On some lucid days,
His same shackles have shown him the song
that keeps playing on all days,
off his human bundle and many others
bumbling along cutely in indescribable motion,
reminding of smokes of tobaccos and incense,
few solid flashes and all dissolving wisp.

For G

Dearest, the dear thought of you

be dearer than dearest habits

love unto me past my weary habits

Today together close on Earth 

tethered to the Sun in ritual  

forever in love 

love grows to a lovely habit

Dearest, time seems fated to forever flow

and so hope forever are we  

But timeless is free of fate's blow

It is for the taking priceless and free

Since your coming to me

I sometimes feel I am freed

forever from all time and me

--------------------------------------------

PS :  first date Oct' 11

A good advice to the quarreling lover

Be a man and step up
to the absurd

Thus will transform
the quiet, hale tautologies
to reinforcing, hearty emotion.

Remember though
The absurd through anger
Will bake crazed, uneven ridiculous.

Only through tenderness
Will the man in love
Become a man elevated

to love.

I embrace you absurdity,
my long lost friend.




---------------------------------------

Oct '11 in front of the lovely angel and soldier in Philly 30th street station
Thanks to Mukti M. for the advice

Mirror

Dear Mirror dear mirror
I want you to know sure
You are so just, just funny.

Most days you do the talking;
tell me "you're fat, you're fat !"
Some days you like me, fancy that !
tell me "you're getting thin surely !"

But I admit you are not just few-dimensional.

You are gracious too, quibble less
Of clothes and handsomeness.


Your nebulous other dimensions
Better not become silently unforgiving.
Obstinacy can be handled,
Coaxed even to forgive
the truth or lie.

Best when you be foolish company,
Dancing and Singing in lockstep
With me.

Feynman on Beauty

Dear Feynman,

Your description - like always ! - is extremely heartfelt and beautiful.

Your point of view is the essence of openness. I would humbly like to add a point not explicitly mentioned. That is the element of habit. As you say, the aesthetic beauty of the flower is available to the human any time he so wishes. Then, how can he fail to see - as a scientist - the aesthetic beauty of a flower ? The danger is - if I were to take the side of your artist friend - that the scientist might get so habituated to the scientific way of thinking that it may sometimes become hard for him or her to sort of suspend that mode while experiencing the common beauty of the flower. This I put forth based on personal experience and from observing other scientists too. This is exactly what most of the humour in The Big Bang Theory - a TV series, not what we as physicists think usually ! - is based upon.

I have felt (and it has been and is being demonstrated empirically) that the human brain has qualitatively different modes of thought and experience. It is to the imbalance in using these modes that your friend might reasonably react. And for some reason, I am certain that you've recognized this point even when you say you don't understand how scientific knowledge can subtract from the appreciation of beauty. For it can not. Overdone scientific habit can. Similarly, the knowledge of art, artistic thinking and history of human aesthetics can only add to the appreciation of beauty. And similarly too, overdone artistic habit can subtract. To the credit of the curiousness of the scientist, he or she feels a lesser need to ask this question of other thinkers and doers such as artists. And it is a curious historical fact that we as scientists have been most asked this question as almost an accusation. Though the question in itself is interesting in all sorts of ways as you would say !

Your QED is still doing well, and you still are and always will be a phenomenon of Nature as you were in your time as a human on Earth. I wish I had met you in person.

yours truly,

Sumiran